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Tuesday, 1 November 2011

hidup

hidup ..apa yang dimaksudkan dgn hidup ?? bagi aku hidup nie .. kosong.. and depends on kite mcm mana kite warnai hidup kite tu .. like jd rempit ke ..usahawan berjaya ke ..dan lain2 lagi .. tp disamping itu kena hadapi cabaran ,ujian daripada tuhan yang maha kuasa .. suka duka ..sume nye kena kite tempuhi walopon kite tak suka..ada pepatah mgatakan Allah memberi ujian kat umat dya sbb dya rindu kat umat dya .. betol jgk ..kadang manusia nie leka dgn tuah yg melimpah kat diri dorg smpai lupa kat DYA yang maha pemurah .. tp kat sini aku bukan nk cter tu .. aku nk cter hidup nie bkn senang yg org2 slalu ckp2 kan .. org kaya ada bahagian susah dya ..org miskin lagi bertambh2 susah nye ..  kita tak boleh nk duga apa ujian yg kena hadapi .. bgi aku ..bnyk ujian aku kena tggung .. dari aku skolah menengah smpai skrg .. skolah rendah mmg tak la kan .. kecik .. mana tahu pape2 .. masam manis masin pahit tawar .. sume aku dah rasa ..lengkap sume nye .. and now i thought .. dah xda .. tp it come back.. haunted me .. even i dont ask it to happen again .. its too much you know .. i still appreciate apa yg ada disekeliling .. dibesarkan dgn hidup yg sederhana .. ckup mkn pakaian ..lengkap .. nampak mcm hidup senang happy kan ? but its not .. now aku tgh cuti sem . and ofcourse im with my parents and one of my siblings .. i thought i can enjoy my holiday with my dad.. my mum .. tahu2 je .. papa kena kerja kt luar negeri for a month .. and mama ikut papa pergi .. sbb takot papa dgn pompuan lain .. nie happen pon sbb kan kisah lama .. and i know how my mum felt that time .. and im so proud of my mum ..still can face it even her heart is act broke .. and i dont think that i manage to be like her ..and me and my sis dittgalkan kat umah nenek sbb dya still skolah and ada final exam coming right up .. mula2.boleh terima ..papa kena pergi kerja .. smpai satu tahap .. i think this is too much .. sia2 je balik ..tp tak duk dgn dorg .. then what is my purpose ? mmg blik sni nk tgk dorg xda ?? and papa .. nmoak mcm dah lain .. i dont know .. mybe dya penat .. ntah ..tak tahu nk ckp .. mybe mainan minda je .. perhaps.. and now .. result nk kuar ..mgkin ada lagi kena tggal ... and now seriously .. rasa mcm dah xnk blik uitm .. dah tak seronok .. ada enemies .. i dont know ..even sorg dua pon ..org aggp kite buruk..talk bad about us ..even its nothing but .. its not a good thing. tak selesa nk belajar..awkward bila jumpe .. why .. i have to face this kind of challenge ever again .. am i too bad ? do i dont deserve to have a friends ?? whats next ? please .. its hurt nak tggung sorang2 serentak ... sakit ~


 i still want to smile though .. :)

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